Burn without Flame

Smolder (v)- To burn without flame

Let me ask you this, what do a wholesome fisherman, a charming vagabond, a clever outlaw, an isolated monster, and a witty thief have in common?

You guessed it….the Smolder.  One look from these young men and your insides feel as though they are on fire (even if they are not quite human).  Now yes, they are fictional men and may or may not be created with paint and storyboards, but the way they make us feel is real...why?

They are a representation of our ideal man...in a g-rated form ;)

Ladies we are taught at an early age that Disney=Man of my dreams.  Who could blame us when you grow up with characters such as Prince Philip, Aladdin, Flynn Ryder and my own personal favorite, Prince Eric.  You know the drill, handsome Prince spies a beautiful girl, he pursues, there is catastrophe and then he gallantly rescues her...feel free to swoon HERE...and then they kiss and live happily ever after.  Wouldn't life be awesome if it were only that easy :).

Many would argue that Disney has ruined us for life, subconsciously expecting that one day our Prince will effortlessly proclaim is unrequited love.  Yet, when our expectations are not met, Disney has supposedly failed us.  Blasphemous I say!  The relationships from Disney and any other fairy tale for that matter that we are socialized with as children  teach us about hope, dreams, and being all in 100%.  All of the best parts of a relationship are displayed in the "love at first sight" mentality of our Disney Heroines and there loyal male counterparts.  We learn how to feel the fire and passion of "true" love. Of course, no relationship is perfect, but that's why in each story there is always a catastrophe; a metaphorical obstacle if you will.

With almost 100% certainty every relationship Disney or not, has had its obstacles ie: The Ursulas causing mayhem, Maleficents creating perilous road blocks, and general conniving that keeps the destined lovers from being together.

So back to the dreaming and hoping business…

At a fundamental level we as humans WANT (hope for) a companion.  We have qualities that are important in our future better half (pretty sure that directly equates to dreaming...just sayin).  We hope that the man of our dreams will stumble upon our life path and make us burn without flames.  One day we will get our Prince.  It may not be as easy or as romantic as saving someone from a shipwreck or having your first dance in the middle of a forest among owls and squirrels, but one day I promise he will come.

In a pessimistic world, where its easier to judge before accept, to follow rather than lead and to hate rather than love, remember the fundamentals.  Disney teaches us to focus on the positive and the beauty of dreams, while accepting that obstacles happen but can always be overcome.

In the words of Alice, "They say if you dream about something more than once, its sure to come true".

"You just need a little Faith and trust...and a little pixie dust"--Peter Pan

I dare you to look at these and not have your heart flutter....SWOON

The Ripple

A single event has the ability to change the course of your journey.  When you are in the moment you can't always see the changes, however experiencing these slight modifications to our journey IS life.

I am always reminded of the movie "Sliding Doors" when I think of how an event can alter a person's path, and the rippling aftermath that leads us to an end.

In the movie, Gwyneth Paltrow's life seems to be determined by whether or not she misses the subway on a particular day.   Some people call that event destiny or fate, but usually only in the same sentence as a positive event.  Something that leads to a better option, a better path.  What is it then, when the event ripples to something negative?  Misfortune? Unlucky? Or is it an accident? 

We see her life unfold in two very different ways, but her ending is the same.  In scenario one, she misses the subway and has to return home only to find her fiance in bed with another woman completely shattering her life.  Whereas in scenario 2 she slips through the subway doors just as they close and relieved, goes off to work while we as the audience know that she is being two-timed (since we already witnessed life path #1). So which option is better?  One event causes pain instantly, and allows for sooner healing.  The second postpones the pain and yet still the healing will and does occur.  In each of her "lives" she meets a MR. X yet at different times, and under very different circumstances.  With all the events that she experiences as the result of missing or making the subway, in both lives she and Mr. X find each other and end up together.

 Everything in this life happens for a reason, a purpose….call it fate call it destiny or even misfortune.  I don't believe that our lives are entirely predetermined or being puppeteered, however I strongly believe that they are guided.  I think we are challenged with obstacles and  granted the ability to choose our direction based on those roadblocks, that ultimately lead us toward an end we are meant to have.  If we did not have this ability to choose, why would we dream?

With all of this said, picture the ripples  that surround where a single pebble was dropped into calm water. 

Now pretend you are the pebble, under water.  You are submerged in that single event and don't have the ability to view the bigger picture that is created when the event triggers your new life path; the ripples.

 Its easy to fall and get stuck in a single event, but when we find the courage to recognize the beauty in the aftermath of a life changing event (good or bad), we can truly begin to understand the paths that have been laid before us, and eventually journey toward our end.

"A journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step."